I have come to realise in my Christian walk that it sometimes seems that God moves 'all of a sudden', when in reality He has been at work all the time and it is simply that the fullness of time has come and things come to fruition.
As you will know from previous posts I have been trying through my struggles to maintain a more positive mindset. It doesn't work all the time - I have a profound ability to be a ridiculously grumpy person. But God knows I have been trying pretty hard to knock those negative thoughts out of the park and start believing the good thoughts instead.
One area I have really endeavoured to maintain a positive attitude in has been the area of my marriage. My husband and I have known each other on and off for about 30 years now (no, I am not very old, we went to school together : ) ), and God very clearly put us together and meant us to get married. But even knowing that, you would not believe the amount of negative thoughts I would get towards him. It took me a long while to realise that often when something is attacked with negative thoughts so regularly it's because it is from God and therefore the devil hates it and attacks it. However all the negativity in the world isn't a problem unless you dwell on it, or start to believe it.
Sadly I would sometimes believe the rubbish (and I am sure my husband would do the same) and it affected our marriage, but recently I have tried to throw out all negative thoughts and just love him. I have tried to put him first, to see things from his point of view, keep thinking positive things and just kept asking the Lord for help. And do you know what, the love I had for him (which was quite a lot anyway) has just grown and grown. We haven't been bickering, but instead we've had much more laughs than usual (and we did regularly have a good old belly laugh anyway, now it seems to be several times a day), we've been much kinder to each other and life has just been a lot easier.
And then, just a few days ago, God did something in an intimate moment between us which really moved me along the path to total healing and freedom from the abuse in my past. So, a double blessing!
The other area I have been consistently working in to remain positive, for years now, is health. As you will know if you've read previous entries, I have had serious long-term health issues for nearly 2 1/2 years now. There's been ups and downs and a steady, gentle, upward trend, but it's still been very, very draining and difficult. And on the bad days, I would be swamped in negativity.
It has been a struggle to remain positive and believing God's Word that says I am healed because of what Jesus achieved on the cross on my behalf, even on good days, but on bad days it's a bit like mountain climbing when you're exhausted. But I have really tried. Whether it was this, or a combination of things, I truly do not know, but 11 days ago God lifted a large chunk of my illness off me. It was just gone! Poof! Has it gone for good or is this just a good spell? Honestly, I don't know. But I do know God has told me not to worry about that and just keep trusting Him. Whether this is a good spell, or a big healing, only time will tell, but either way, for me to not be on the medication I needed (in sizable doses daily just to function) for 11 days, is simply amazing! Some ongoing issues remain, but with those too, though some would seem an impossible request to be healed of, I remain trusting and believing that He's on the case.
I even went out to dinner with friends last night, an activity that would usually trigger profound anxiety and make me very, very ill (it was friends that I had visited just a few short months ago and had an awful experience of illness afterwards), and remained medication free! I felt some anxiety, but I kept trusting and looking to God, and I ended up with an excellent memory and an excellent result and feeling peaceful and well at the end of the evening.
I must be honest and say that I explain the things God has led me to do: not acting out of fear, trusting God, kicking out negative thoughts and remaining positive, keeping on believing in spite of how dismal circumstances can look etc, because I know they can and will help and are all scriptural. Speaking out Scripture has also helped me profoundly. But ultimately all God wants with us is to have an honest relationship, not have us ticking off boxes of things to do when in difficulty. He loves us enough that it is sufficient quite often simply to shout "Help!". But in the same way our kids need to grow up and learn how to avoid certain messes for themselves (although we'll wade in if needs be), or how to help themselves without expecting Mum and Dad to just sort everything, so when we're friends with God we need to grow up sometimes too. But as for the results, we may work in conjunction with God, but without Him the results would always come to nought. The results - it's all Him. I can't begin to thank Him enough for it.
Today has been a good day. A great time at church. The sun came out. We had a family walk. We relaxed and watched some TV. Some more work cam in yesterday and last week. And I largely feel quite well. There may be more stormy days ahead - I know we certainly have many things on our plate that need to be sorted, but only God can do it - but I can put today in the memory bank and remind myself of how God has been working recently next time things are tough. I am greatly encouraged that no matter how hard things are, there will always be better days and blessings ahead - sometimes sooner than you think.
Be blessed : )
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