Keeping It Simple

After my teary, bleary-eyed prayer time on Saturday night, and feeling fairly dreadful on Sunday, my husband and I sat down for a quick prayer time Sunday evening, to offer the week to God.

We prayed over several things, not only for us but for friends that we know are in need or needing prayer cover (sounds very spiritual, but honestly, it's not - my prayers are so awkward and wordy sometimes (it is not unknown for my husband to fall asleep whilst I pray) that I'm truly grateful God looks at the heart and knows what I mean!). However for me, I decided for a change to keep it simple. These are some of our requests:

- That my digestive system (which had been adversely affected by the virus) would be pain free, all nausea would be gone, I would be able to eat without difficulty and would enjoy my food and I would be able to prepare a meal for the family each day (nausea had prevented me).

- That I would be able to do the school run pick ups easily and without fear (as being unwell causes a stress response in that situation as I'd had bad experiences with illness on the school run) and I'd be well on them.

- That the virus would go!

- That I would be able to work.

- That I'd see improvements in the underlying health issues and it would go!

- That I would be able to get to my Wednesday evening fellowship group (where I get to meet with some Christians friends and we have a great time with God) and to church, without illness or anxiety about going out.

In return I feel that I need to do some things:

- Every great person who's ever done anything for God seems to have spent a lot of time in the Bible and a lot of time with God. I am currently studying quite a lot about what Jesus achieved on the cross (as I am thoroughly determined to receive all He died for me to have, and to go forth taking Kingdom life with me (healing the sick, freeing the captives and, dare I say it, raising the dead - but I am taking it a step at a time and have seen a few healings in response to my awkward prayers - thank you God!), but I feel I need to spend more time with God - to step up where I'm currently at. So I want to commit to spending extra time with God, just in His presence.

- We need to see great improvements in our finances. We have debts to clear, birthdays and Christmas approaching, the children would like a reasonable holiday next year, plus we need more equipment for work and two new cars. Oh yes, and the house needs work. I almost laugh a little hysterically when I write it, because logically there is no way. But He is a God of miracles. So I feel that in order to see greater blessing the Lord is saying to up our giving. So I want to commit to giving more each month than we are currently giving.

- I want to commit to trusting Him completely. We need so much help with health and finances, as well as holding these great big, impossible dreams in our hearts that the Lord has given us. But I know now that I cannot bring these things to pass. The spending more time with God is really a necessity and bringing our relationship to the next level (when we love someone in life, don't we always choose to spend as much time as we can with them? If so, why not God?) and the extra giving is not simply to get, but a greater level of trusting too - my heart does a little flip-flop as I hand over our hard earned pennies, so to give more is a real leap of faith. They are not just things to do to 'gain' what we want; I know that I have to fully submit, I have to give it all up to him.

Paul puts this so much better than I in Galatians 2: 20:

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

I have to consider myself dead to my old life and old way of doing things, and offer up myself as a living sacrifice (Romans 12: 1). It hurts. Oh boy, does it hurt. My flesh does not want to give up any more time or money. It wants comfort. It wants comfort NOW! It wants to worry and work things out without God. But my heart, my spirit, the bit inside that is me knows that short term pain means long term gain. It's God's way or the dry, dusty road to Nowheresville.

So I'm going to try with the more time and the more giving. We do need to step up to a new level in our experience and our every day life.

But praise God, after a grotty week or so, and a grotty day yesterday as the beta blocker wore off, I was able to get up today, eat a banana without feeling nauseous, and then go out and work. I've also managed the school run and cooking yesterday and today and felt fine throughout. I've had rotten moments, but today has been an immense improvement. At the moment with my health I feel God to say take it a day at a time and keep doing the right things - to build on the foundation He's already laid - so perhaps no more parties for a while. But that's OK. I'm learning that trusting Him always pays dividends in the end, even if it means losing a few friends along the way who don't understand why you keep turning down their invitations, not matter how much you try to explain. I know after the Scripture He gave me the other day (Is 62: 11), for everything I lose following His way, I will get it back with more on top.

I am praying that your week goes well and that you will feel God speaking gently to your heart with the advice you need for your situations. And I'll be back soon with a new post. God bless : )