'Back' in God's Hands

I write this sat waiting in a hospital room with my husband as he awaits the call to go down to theatre for a spinal injection. He has had huge problems with a bulging disc in his spine and pain for well over a year now, and was so ill with it to begin with that he lost consciousness in hospital and stopped breathing. As his instinct to breathe failed to kick in they had to resuscitate him – not something I ever wish to see again! (Although I felt God reassure me that he would not allow my husband to die, as his life was in God’s hands and God had other plans and good things ahead for him).

It has been a hard journey to get this far, and we are hoping and praying that the injection will do it’s job, stop the pain and we can move forward. But it is scary. Although having the injection should be a good thing, a great thing, it is also a leap of faith. We are losing work time and income (we will need minimum 2 days off). In rare cases it can exacerbate things. And we are entering into a time when my husband’s health is of paramount importance.

My youngest two children, a boy (10 ½) and a girl (9), share a bedroom, and we desperately need to give them their own space, for developmental, gender and tidiness reasons. It’s been a long held dream but impossible until now.

Earlier this year God helped us make a major move forward in our finances, taking steps to break free from debt. We ended up with a certain amount left over which was carefully budgeted for, but everything needed has cost way more than we anticipated, meaning we only have a small amount left to do a major job.

We were due to split their large room into two, which was fairly straightforward. However we needed permission to put in a new window to achieve this. It should have been easy, but our neighbours, our Christian neighbours with whom we are good friends, complained about it. Not to us, but direct to the Council via the Internet. We were hurt and saddened.

As a result we only got permission to put in a bathroom window, not a bedroom window. So the room will still be split, but one of the two new rooms will have to become the bathroom. The existing bathroom will have to be moved to there (and we’ve only just done it up!), a completely new sewer dug, two walls will have to be knocked down, four new walls will have to be built, five rooms will need some plastering and it will cost 2 to 3 times as much.

The prep work we’ve had to do, and still have to do is phenomenal, and my husband and I are both exhausted and cranky. We even managed to have a big old argument yesterday in front of the kids (Oh, the guilt! How cross I got with myself!). But with so much left to do, part of which is digging a rather large, rather long trench by hand for the new sewer, you can understand the faith it takes to let him have his back tampered with today.

Walking out forgiveness, especially when it comes from a friend, is very hard. I’ve also been having a very hard time with my Mum, who has been really hurtful. It’s a story for another day but she finally admitted recently that she holds so much unforgiveness towards me (about things that I don’t even remember and wonder if they really happened) that even if I did everything right (and boy, do I try!) she will probably never be able to see the good but only remember the bad she thinks I’ve done. To hear your own Mum, who you’ve never tried to do anything other than good to, tell you that basically you’re never going to be good enough and she doesn’t really like you, is super hard.

Add into all of this the tiredness that comes with health issues both my husband and I have had/ are having, medications we’re on, extreme busyness, large outgoings with other items, many things breaking unexpectedly, so much work to do and trying to walk in forgiveness, walking in faith has become super, super hard.

But I feel God saying it’s right to go ahead with the work at home, that it will be worth it. To not worry about the money side (ha, ha, big ask! I can’t seem to switch my brain off!).

I feel God say to go ahead and claim the land: ‘I will give you every place where you set your foot …. Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.’ Joshua 1: 3, 9.

‘Go in the strength I have sent you. Am I not sending you?’ Judges 6: 14 (In this passage God was assuring Gideon, who felt very small and incapable, of victory.)

‘By standing firm you will gain life’ Luke 21: 19. (This promise was given directly after verse 16 saying ‘You will be betrayed by parents, brothers, relatives and friends.’ Although it is talking about direct persecution and handing over to the authorities, not arguments about what we may or may not have done or whether you can have the window you want, which are very trifling in comparison (!), it still offers great comfort.)

I apologise this seems like a big moan. I am tired, and God is asking me to stretch that bit further, to go that extra mile with Him, to hang in there just a bit longer. 

And it’s a sheer act of will that is spiritually getting me off my butt and trusting. It’s an act of will that as each negative thought comes in, of which there are multitudes every day, to look to Him. To offer praise instead of a moan. To praise Him for even the opportunity to step out and do these things. To believe when doubt and fear are so ever present.

But I think it is when you finally realise your own smallness, your total weakness and inability to do a thing, that He can suddenly get very big and show His true colours, He can show just what He can do, with what little you have. He doesn’t believe in addition, our God is one of multiplication. (see Luke 9: 10-17: ‘We only have …. They all were satisfied’.)

Once more I step out in blind faith. Once more I believe I will find the rock beneath, and I look forward to sharing just how.

My husband is now in theatre as I finish this entry. He too is in God’s hands.

Be blessed : )  

Shaken by Love

I have a daily devotional book based on the writing's of Hannah Whitall Smith (1832 - 1911). She wrote many, wonderful Christian books that still sell well today.

Last week I read an entry which has helped me tremendously:

"At that time His voice shook the earth, but now He has promised, 'Once more I will shake not only the earth, but also the heavens.' The words 'once more' indicate the removing of what can be shaken - that is, created things - so that what cannot be shaken may remain." Hebrews 12: 26-27

Mrs Smith goes on to explain:

'It may seem to those who do not understand the deepest ways of love that neither trials not hardness could ever come into the lives of God's children. But if we look deeply into the matter, we will see that often love itself must bring the hardness. "The Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone he accepts as a son." (Hebrews 12: 6)
       If love sees those it loves going wrong, it must, because of this very love do what it can to save them; and the love that fails to do this is only selfishness. Therefore, the God of love, when He sees his children resting their souls on things that can be shaken, must necessarily remove those things from their lives in order that they may be driven to rest only on the things that cannot be shaken; and this process of removing is sometimes very hard.'

God has been shaking me these past years. I can see that now. And this shaking process is hard. Very hard.

Years ago, decades ago, God spoke to me about my life and I feel, gave me certain promises certain dreams. I got very excited, and things seemed to progress at one point. But instead of those wonderful promises it feels as though He has slowly dismantled me. Taken me apart, piece by piece. I have been tested, and tried and broken.

But now, at last, I feel I am growing to know Him better. He had to dismantle me, to shake me, to get rid of the rubbish.

'Clear away the clutter ... ' one word said to me, 'then you'll soar like a jet.'

'The crux of the matter is you have to learn to stop relying on your own strength.'

Now I feel He is slowly putting the building blocks in place.

We are about to embark on major home renovations here, to give my four children their own bedrooms for the first time ever. It's a stretch in every way: time, health, strength, finances. But we're getting rid of so much we no longer need or use. And it's paving the way for a better, clutter free future, where we can really start to enjoy our home and I can start to move forward in the calling upon my life.

Gosh, if anyone had ever said how hard this Christian lark would be, I'd have said, no thank you, you can keep that! But I know it'll be worth it. Like at home in the work we're doing: you have to tear down to rebuild. At least now I understand that the tearing down has been done out of love, so I can rely on Him, not on me, for what is ahead. I'm believing that in faith. I'm walking forward in faith. I believe, in faith that He loves Me. And I finally understand that I can accomplish NOTHING without Him.

He is my rock, my life, my all. And in that surrender all that He is comes flooding through.

May you know His strength, His love in your lives, and may the clutter be removed so you can soar. Be blessed : )

Holiday and Stonehenge

As promised a post post-holiday : )

We went to Cornwall for a week. A beautiful place, lots to do, gorgeous beaches. The kids rated it 10/10, 10/10, 9/10 and 7/10 (the lowest score was from my 14 year old mildly autistic son who hates going anywhere, so actually a very high score indeed!).

On the way there and back we saw Stonehenge!

 

During the week we went to the beach (where the youngest two tried body-boarding and thoroughly enjoyed it), we went on a speedboat trip around the Padstow / Camel Estuary, we did go-karting, swimming, laser tag (awesome fun, hiding in grass waiting to get shot in the head by my husband or a random teenage boy, all of whom took it very seriously - but my team won anyway - hurrah!), my youngest went horse riding with her Dad, and my eldest had a facial and massage. And my least favourite, but possibly most important activity was Adrenalin Quarry, where we all did the second longest zip wire in the UK. It's 450m long, jumping off a cliff. And I hate heights.

Yes, it is as long and as scary as it looks : o

I felt, after such a long and hard fought battle with fear throughout my illness it was really important that I don't allow fear to hold me back in any way. We had to queue for about 20 minutes, all the while staring at the long drop, then when you're in your harness you have to stand on the cliff edge for several minutes until it's time to go - literally staring into the abyss! But I felt God remind me of a quote I'd been given by a friend some time ago:

"The steps of faith fall on the seeming void, and find the rock beneath"
                                                                         John Greenleaf Whittier - My Soul and I

I did the jump with my youngest son, who again hates new things and gets anxious, but was willing to give it a go (all the family did it in pairs), and do you know what, I screamed all the way down, but with exhiliration, not fear! I actually enjoyed it!! And it is a memory of spending time with my son on that long way down (he really encouraged me) that I will treasure forever.

I was so pleased and had consciously left behind all fear and the past behind me at the top, ready to move forward.

I didn't move forward quite as fast as I'd hoped. First my eldest, who is such a daredevil and loved jumping off a cliff had a minor fear meltdown at go-karting, so I spent time with her praying and encouraged her to give it another go, to not let fear win, which she did and was much happier afterwards. Then I started to feel unwell that evening, couldn't sleep when I went to bed and got up around 1 a.m. with a serious sickness bug. I was up all night. By the end I was so exhausted that I was almost asleep on the loo. But my biggest issue was why? Why, when we'd been so looking forward to holiday and time with the children, and the very much needed time off, would God allow me to be so ill and also let fear/ the devil attack?

I was stuck indoors for two days unable to go out (my husband bravely soldiered on, my eldest was also a little ill the next day too but quickly recovered thankfully), and I have been feeling a bit unwell, a little 'viral' ever since on and off. But it drove me back to God. Admittedly with my many questions: Why would you let me get ill, especially on holiday? It made me question all the breakages we'd had lately: air conditioning in our new van, our satellite TV box broke, our mower (a main piece of machinery in our work and we've been without it for nearly 2 months now, during peak mowing season) our small car acting up and then on holiday, of all places BOTH cameras broke! (Hence the lack of photos from holiday, we have some on our phones but have yet to upload them).

BUT: the illness gave me an opportunity to face my fear of being sick. My eldest son who hates new places and busy-ness got to stay home with me for a day and watch DVDs together and that helped him unwind and enjoy holiday more. I actually got some rest for a change. I lost some weight - not the best weight loss plan, but still worked - and as my appetite for junk food stays at bay now I'm feeling a little lighter and healthier. I got to spend time with the Lord. And I actually got to hear a little from Him too. And He gave me the energy I needed to work three long hot, hard days this week - amazing considering how I'd felt! I should also add that He has given us enough work so that we're booked almost until Christmas now, which is amazing - thank you Lord!

Was it part back-lash from confronting fear? Maybe. But I know my God is bigger than that. I think in all honesty I'd given the devil room to move in my life through over-work, not spending time with God (putting Him first) and then eating too much rubbishy food in the evenings - not feeding my body proper nutrition (I'd particularly over-indulged in cakes, sweets and chocolate that evening).

I have felt God really encourage me to make right decisions on an ongoing basis. Whether this is what I eat, how I spend my time, making time for family and God, or not over-working.

"In order to reap 'right' results in life, you have to do right when you do not feel like it ... We should look to the future, determine what we want to see happen, and then discipline ourselves in order that we may ahve it ...If you discipline yourself now, you can trust that He'll bring you great reward (see Hebrews 12:11"

He has also spoken to me of the great future He has planned for me and my family:

"Whatever you go through God will always be with us .... No matter what you are facing right now, God has a great life planned for you. It includes prosperity and progress in every area of life. It includes great peace, unspeakable joy, and every good thing you can imagine ... Be strong and courageous and never give up, and you will have everything He wants you to have in life."

(All quotes above from Trusting God Day by Day devotional by Joyce Meyer).

We are about to embark on huge renovation work here, involving great financial outlay, time off work and less income. We have huge costs coming up: car repairs, mower repairs, decorating costs after the building work and new furniture, a bus pass for my daughter to get to college (£560!!), a holiday next year, etc. I am believing for so many things, such as a new camera (I love photography and love documenting our lives), certain things for Christmas, (some necessary, some not), a new smaller car somehow, and great forward movement in the calling on my life, the state of our home, more quality time with the family and great movement forward in our finances which need the next move of the Lord.

God's answers:

"Is anything too difficult for the Lord?" Genesis 18:14

"Do not fear, only believe." Mark 5: 36

So holiday was not all we hoped it would be, but the kids had an awesome time, and maybe, in the long run, for us adults it will be more, because of the wisdom we have gained from it.

I pray that all who read this may know God's peace in their lives and His rest, as well as His blessings. We're off out now. It's a gorgeous sunny afternoon, and we're going to take the dog for a walk along a river, and perhaps do a little wading ourselves. At last, some quality family time!

As ever, be blessed : )

Downton Abbey aka Highclere Castle!

A couple of days ago I had the pleasure of taking my eldest to see Highclere Castle, where Downton Abbey is filmed (as we both love the programme!) as a treat for working hard for her exams before she left school (they leave school at 16 here in the UK, then go onto college for 2 years, before University).

It was also a great excuse to have a lovely day out with my daughter, something we seldom get to do.

Life has been so busy, as I've had to increase my working hours significantly, that I almost felt guilty having a day off. But it was so worth it.

Here's some pics to prove we were there:

This is the side of the house.

This is the front. We got to stand where Lord Grantham in Downton welcomes his guests!

We also got to see their Eyptian exhibition and a replica of Tutankhamen's tomb, as (I think) it was the 5th Earl who lived here that funded the search for the tomb and worked alongside Carter to finally discover it.

Overall a really lovely day : )

We're off on holiday tomorrow for a week to Cornwall (am praying the weather improves as it's looking rather wet and gloomy after all the wonderful sun we've had -but trying to 'speak to the mountain' and tell the sun to come out!). It' s very much needed and longed for break. Time with family and time to rest. We've been working too hard, have a lot to do in front of us in terms of work on the house and need some time off.

God's been working on me. I've been suffering for the lack of rest. But I will write up some posts on the laptop whilst I'm away and then post them when home (no WiFi - how will my children ever manage?!).

But praying all goes well with whoever reads this, praying blessings on you and yours, and I'll be back posting soon.

God bless you, be blessed wherever you are : ) x

Healed By Love

My whole life I have struggled with rejection, and with the whole concept of God's love for me.

Yes, I knew logically that the Bible said that God loved me, and that He proved that by sending His son Jesus, to die so that I may be saved (see John 3:16). I knew it in my head, but I couldn't feel it in my heart, and to be honest I struggled to believe it.

For a long time I have been really struggling in my health. The symptoms have caused Doctors to suspect that I had a heart attack. Then they thought I had an imbalance of chemicals in my brain, caused by cancerous tumours. To manage my symptoms I have been given a concoction of medicines, and I have found ways to 'manage', but not thrive, on them and at times in the past few years my quality of life has been non-existent or very poor.

There were months that I felt so nauseous I couldn't eat and lost a lot of weight. I couldn't function. I couldn't get off the sofa. Some days I couldn't get out of bed. And my family lost me for a long time.

No, that's not me. I spent most of my sofa years in PJs looking grim.

Slowly but surely over the past four years since I first got really sick, I have recovered little by little, through prayer. The first improvement probably took about 6-12 months to happen, then another 6 months and so on. It wasn't fast, or pretty, or astonishing. It was slow, miserable (although I was grateful for each small improvement), and didn't help affirm any feelings of love!

But as time has gone on and I have read more through the Bible and about God's healing power, I have made more progress. God took me through a whole process where rubbish from my past was dealt with (it was abuse, and it's not 100% done, but honestly very good considering), with the support of some Godly friends.

At each level of healing I have pushed for more. I have been grateful, but I've always known there is more. In fact I became convinced that as a born-again believing child of God it was my birthright to be 100% well, and under the Holy Spirit's prompting I have set out to check if this is true.

I've been working my way through Derek Prince's book 'Bought With The Blood' which details clearly all the exchanges that took place when Jesus died on the cross for me. He took my guilt, I was forgiven. He took my poverty that I might know abundance. He took my sicknesses and pains, that I might be healed. And so on.

I've also been reading Destined for the Throne by Paul E. Billheimer. It's about why God created us and the universe, and our birthright once we believe upon Jesus' sacrifice for us. Billy Graham wrote the Foreword.

Both books are very old, both very easy to read and understand. And both are having an incredible impact on me.

The biggest leap has been once learning of something that the Bible says I have, actually believing it is mine. For example, the Bible says we are healed because of Jesus' sacrifice. Yet my circumstances say I'm not. So I tell the circumstances to go in the name of Jesus (speaking to the mountain - see Mark 11:23), then I believe I have what I've asked for (Mark 11:24), then I wait for God to bring it to pass.

That's the hard bit, waiting for it to come to pass. But once you know the Bible a little, it's knowing that it is already so in the spiritual realms, you're just waiting for the physical realms to catch up.

Since acting in this way (with many a doubting wobble) I have seen huge improvements in my health. I am working a very physically demanding job (gardening, painting and decorating, etc) 3 - 4 days a week, long days - and although I hate getting hot, I am even working through the abnormal heat the UK has been experiencing lately and have worked on the two hottest days of the year. I am also doing more days at home doing accounts and paperwork, I do all the housework and cooking, and now that my husband works longer hours I am doing most of the running around of my four children. Both my husband and I are able to keep going from early in the morning until late at night, through health conditions, with good energy levels and (mostly) good temper, because of God and His promises. 

This promise spoken almost daily has really helped : )

But the biggest pay-off, which has come largely as a result of starting to understand exactly what God has done for us through Jesus, the love that the Bible talks of (but is sadly not so often talked about in churches), is starting to filter through. And it is making all the difference.

Once you know you are loved, and you have the biggest, most generous Dad in the world, who promises to always provide for you and love you no matter what you do or say, life seems just that bit easier.

I am not there yet. My health still wobbles. Even this past week I have been tested for six or seven different types of cancer. And in order to do the testing I had to come off all medication for 3 weeks - a very daunting and at times very difficult prospect. But do you know what? I had peace about the results. I wasn't even the slightest bit worried. That was a supernatural thing, because I naturally have a tendency to try to solve a problem, and if I can't I'll worry the whatsit out of it.

But as His love drips down into my soul, I feel my shoulders sag slightly less, I feel my load lifting little by little, and do you know what? I have started to feel joy  - and until I felt that, I hadn't even known it was missing. And joy really does make a huge difference.

How very true this is!

I'm still on a journey. My health may go a bit wonky. But I'm starting to know my rights now and what I have access to through Jesus, and I'm feeling less scared.

"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." Romans 8: 15.

I pray that my journey may give you hope for yours. I'm not there yet, probably won't be until I die and see Him 'face to face'. But things are so much better and the future's looking bright.

I'll be back soon, I promise! Praying God's love and joy will be blessing you : )

Mountain Moving Faith

I can hardly believe it has been nearly two months since I last posted! My absence has been unintentional, but necessary.

There has been much going on these past months. I have had some difficult issues to deal with. Life has been ridiculously busy. And health has been, let's just say, 'challenging'.

I shall tackle these issues in three posts, hopefully fairly close together. But I shall start with health.

If you've read my blog before you'll know I have had some difficult health problems for nearly four years now. Looking back I can see I am significantly better than I was, and can cope with so much more. However I am still very far from what I would consider 'well' or 'normal'.

A friend recently encouraged me from his own experiences. He'd had a back problem with lots of pain troubling him, yet he needed to be well for work. He saw Andrew Wommack on TV, preaching on Mark 11: 23:

"Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them."

Be gone, mountain!

He said he'd repented of losing hope in certain areas and not believing this scripture and started to claim promises from the Bible out loud - promises of healing and well being. He said it took about 5 days of constant praying and telling the pain to go, and then it lifted!

This is the fulfilment of Mark 4: 26 - 29:

The Parable of the Growing Seed

26He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. 27Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. 28All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. 29As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.”

We sow God's word in the form of speaking His promises, faith grows (often without us knowing), then suddenly faith arises and we know we have what we asked for (Hebrews 11:1) and then the actual thing itself arrives.

I was so encouraged, as I had been stuck in the doldrums, having really lost faith in being fully well. I realised that I had been through such a prolonged rough spell, and been unwell for so long, that I'd lost hope. My friend's testimony gave me back enough hope to try again.

So I spoke the promises, faith arose and I started to feel really well at times. Just momentary glimpses, but better than I'd felt for a really long while. Then the devil does what he does best and had a go. First life crashed in. Appointments with the kids came up in a flurry: dentist, orthodontist, opticians, school meetings etc. Simultaneously work increased a lot. And it is hard, physical work that really tests your muscles and stamina.

I did really well for a bit, better than I'd ever have coped over these past years and was amazed. But it's like I hit a wall and suddenly my body crashed.

Then the Dr called and hit me with a big blow. I've been waiting to see a specialist about my condition, but before they see me they want to perform tests. In order to do the test they've asked me to come off medication that really helps sustain me, for two weeks prior to testing and for a week during.

Normally this might be feasible, with a lot of Divine help, but after hitting a brick wall and feeling really dreadful (yet still having to look after the family and work), it's almost impossible. 

I tried to honour the request and came off the meds for a week. I had no sleep for two nights and had to miss work, all due to dreadful symptoms and illness, which could have been managed by the meds.

So I'm between a rock and a hard place now. If I take the meds, I function but cannot get to the bottom of what's wrong. If I don't take the meds, I lose a huge amount of income (as if I don't work I don't get paid - the joy of self-employment), upset customers and can't function.

So I'm back to square one now. Back to trying to drag up hope once more, and pray that in time that will develop into faith. Back to dealing with impossible situations, when all I want to do is sit on the sofa and eat chocolate or lie in bed and wait to feel better. But I understand that 'impossible' God speciality.

So forgive my absence. I simply haven't been able to write as I've felt so rubbish. Here's to a better month ahead - watch this space!

I pray you will be blessed, and you too will see your mountains moved : )

Digging Deep - An Encouragement for Easter

I have spent some of my time at work these past few weeks digging. Digging out brambles (the wild blackberry that grows in hedgerows in Britain (and borders and most places you don't want it to!) - not to be confused with the much larger, sweeter blackberry you can buy to plant in your garden), and even the odd tree stump.

Wild blackberries seem to grow everywhere you don't want them to, and they are voracious. Give them an inch and they'll cover your whole garden in no time at all. Getting them out in their entirety, with roots intact, is near impossible, so your best bet is to use a very powerful weedkiller, then remove it when it has shrivelled and died. Or, as I have done, dig deep, work hard and remove as much as you possibly can. Then if/ when the last remnants of roots start to sprout, get out your strong weedkiller and spray!

As for tree stumps, especially a dead one as I had to remove, total root removal is not so important, but lots and lots of digging is required. In both cases the results can be very satisfying!

It may not look much, but it took a long time to dig out and weighed a ton (not literally!)

In recent weeks I have had some rather unpleasant symptoms to do with my illness - some of which was problems with my heart. When feeling unwell, fear tries to creep over me again, as it has throughout the illness. I have had to quote Romans 8: 15 and 2 Timothy 1: 7 a lot! I have also found Haggai 2: 4-5 a great source of comfort. All well worth reading, all about the spirit of fear and how God rescues us.

In addition my husband, who has had profound pain and severe problems with a trapped nerve - he has had this since last May/ June time when he was in hospital with it and nearly died - is really suffering and in a great deal of pain at the moment.

And to top it off my husband and I had a huge argument, over something silly. But it was of atomic proportions : (

All of these things have driven me back to God. Sickness comes from one of three things: unconfessed sin, a soul wound (a hurt that has not been healed) or simply from natural causes. I have spent much time recently praying for wisdom into why we are both unwell, and why we have such big arguments from time to time (we both have trigger points that seem to set us off), so that we can know healing. In essence, I have been digging deep.

As with virulent weeds such as brambles, you really need to deal not just with the bits you can see above the surface (the symptoms), but the roots as well (the causes).

I have no answers as yet. But I know I am drawing nearer to my God, learning more about Him and myself in the process, and He is helping us through these issues. (I am also learning to exercise great patience and build endurance!)

Today is Good Friday. Today is the day we remember that Jesus, in His great love for us, submitted Himself to the Father's will, stretched His arms wide in love on a cross, and died for us sins and our sickness.

Today we remember His death. But it is only two days until we will celebrate the resurrection. The same power that raised Christ from the dead is at work in us, according to the Bible. So as I wait upon the Lord, for wisdom, for answers and for healing, I remember those disciples who also waited in the darkness that the crucifixion brought, who did not understand that the most amazing miracle the world has ever seen was about to happen.

For all those waiting for their miracles this Easter, I encourage you, as I encourage myself, that though it may seem dark now - it may be that a miracle that the world needs to hear about is just around the corner. God doesn't forget His promises and He won't forget you : )

Be blessed this Easter and I pray with all my heart that God would encourage you that the resurrection power lives on, because He loves you : )