I wrote my last post on Monday, and a lot has happened since then.
My son, who was in hospital with undiagnosed abdominal pain, started to get a little worse overnight Monday. His blood results showed worsening infection and by the morning his temperature had started to rise.
My husband had stayed overnight with him and by the time I got in Tuesday morning to relieve him, my son was rapidly worsening. I could see him go downhill before my eyes and his skin was like fire to the touch, so high was his temperature, yet his hands were freezing. He kept shivering and saying he was cold, and his skin was pale as anything. He hadn't eaten or drunk for 2 days and was on IV fluids.
The surgeon was rather rubbish and had no inter-personal skills at all. But praise God we had an advocate in a wonderful anaesthetist, who pushed for exploratory surgery earlier rather than later and that Tuesday morning they took him down for surgery.
They found a partially ruptured appendix, which was very nastily infected. They had had trouble diagnosing as his appendix wasn't on the right as most people's are, but to the left of middle and tucked away in his pelvis. So there was a lot of rummaging about with his organs and intestines to find it, and cutting through of his stomach muscles.
He was so scared going down to theatre, that he gripped my hand like he was holding on to save his life. It was a privilege to have been his rock in those scary moments before surgery.
Praise God he has slowly improved since. He has been on very large doses of antibiotics to fight infection and regular pain relief is helping. He is shuffling about somewhat, and we've had a few hiccups when the abdominal drain was removed and one of his wounds started to leak green stuff (we were told it was leftover from what was inside - if that was the colour of his appendix and the surrounding tissue (I was told told his appendix and the surrounding tissue was infected) no wonder he felt so ill), and he had a rough day Thursday. But yesterday and today he has got a little better every day.
So he's off school for 3 weeks and nothing strenuous for a month, so he misses a school camp. But frankly, after what he's been through, he's just glad to be on the mend. And bless him, he's been polite and really soldiered on throughout.
I am hoping that is the end of my month from hell. I feel a bit like a zombie, to be honest. I've gone from ill, to watching my husband nearly die, to looking after him (showering him, dressing him, doing everything) and the children and working full-time doing gardening and heavy manual work, plus paperwork and making calls in the evening, to going through the same with my son and being in hospital all week.
Monday evening my husband and I even had a conversation about if our son died, how we would go about praying for resurrection - it has been that bad.
Honestly, I have known God with me throughout. Yet again this week in hospital, Jesus was spending a lot of time holding my hand and watching over my son. God has given me strength.
But Wednesday afternoon, Thursday and Friday my strength evaporated and I was a bit like a walking zombie. And emotionally, how do you begin to 'file' and cope with nearly losing 2 family members in just a few weeks, and having a third (my daughter) threatening to leave and break up our family and dealing with the Police? Add into the mix being self-employed and losing money left, right and centre, and my mum and my husband's parents who have not offered one bit of help pretty much throughout, and a mother-in-law who is beyond difficult (and a husband who won't stand up to her and save me from the constant jibes)).
Right now the exhaustion levels are lessening, but I need time to come to grips with it all emotionally. My husband and I had another pointless, bickering argument this morning. Probably just tiredness and stress. But it is also emotionally draining.
But I do know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that if it were not for the power of prayer, for God being with us and fighting for us, for the wonderful love of God shown through His people the church who have given us meals and helped with childcare and prayed, we would not be here. I have to trust Him, as an act of will, to sort out all the rest too. And He will, I just have to be patient.
When things are a little more settled I can embark on the tentative start of my preaching career - going round with a mentor and starting the studying that I need to complete to become a 'qualified' preacher in the denomination of our church (it's a Methodist church, but we're Christians, it just happens to be the church God led us to). I'm very nervous, but again know I can trust God.
If it weren't for Him, who knows where I'd be. And I think the outcome of the past few weeks/ month would be rather different. Praise God that He is our redeemer, who redeems us from our troubles.
Hope your weeks have been good, and if you've prayed after my last post, a mighty, mighty thank you!
Be blessed : )
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