The God of All Hope

Oops! This posted before I had written anything! Still learning what to click and what not to. Here's what should have been posted:

These past weeks have been very challenging. Life has been very full, very busy and sometimes tiring, something which I find very challenging in itself. Many days have literally been running from one thing to the next, unable to settle and focus on anything properly, which I find hard. BUT I am very grateful to be able to do those things now. Not so long ago I couldn't have attempted even half of what I am able to do now. And I am grateful for God's strength that enables me.

But life hasn't been challenging just because of the busyness, but because of the issues we have faced. We are in the process of having to make lots of decisions and find ways to deal with certain challenges we are facing. Issues that are important and affect ours and the children's future, issues that we need to make decisions about now.

On the one hand all these decisions are very difficult. I feel very small and inadequate. I am concerned about not making the right choices. I feel rather swamped.

On the other hand, I need to remind myself that I have a big God. He will give me wisdom for these decisions if only I will ask (James 1: 5). If I make a wrong choice by accident He will help us and make a way through because He loves us and is our heavenly Dad. And I am very conscious that many of these decisions that we face, we are only facing them because we live in the more affluent West. If we lived in a poorer country elsewhere, we possibly wouldn't be faced with choices, but rather forced into one thing or another. So in many ways, although stressful at times, decisions and choices, overall, are a privilege.

But apart from the decision making, I think one of the things I find the hardest is the money stuff. Many years ago we knew lack, and lacked wisdom. We put things on the credit card rather than address the lack, because my husband had been offered a promotion with much more money, so we thought we would be able to pay back what we had borrowed. But the promotion kept getting put off, then overtime and the opportunities to earn more stopped completely, and instead of income increasing, it decreased to the point that we could not live off of it, even without trying to service the debt. So we incurred more debt, and it grew and grew as interest got added on and we could only manage the minimum payments.

All this time we were crying out to God, but we couldn't hear clearly, we were too embarrassed and ashamed to ask for help, and we were hoping for a miracle. But we didn't get one. Instead it came to a head when we could no longer meet the minimum payments every month. We had no choice but to seek help, or sell our home. So we went to a free help organisation in the UK, the debt management specialist 'just happened' to be in (praise God), and we were able over a few weeks to set up a payment plan to start paying off what we owed, whilst leaving us with enough to live off.

That was a four years ago. We are still paying things off, but at the rate we can afford to pay things off at the moment it will take a few decades. I joke not. And in the meantime our cars age and cost more and more to keep going and we don't have enough left over to save for new ones, the children grow older and I find myself increasingly unable to take them to new places and have new experiences, and I find myself struggling to forgive myself for getting in the mess in the first place, because the debt is constantly there as a reminder.

Last night an issue to do with money came up, and again I found myself struggling not to be cross at myself. I think I must've been tired, because instead of getting frustrated or angry, I was upset and cried a little.

But this is where hope comes in. At times like this we have a choice. We can choose to believe the impossible, embarrassing, difficult circumstances, and all the rubbish and lies that the devil spouts at us constantly, or we can believe God's word, the Bible and the promises in it. That we are forgiven, that God loves us and makes a way where there is no way, that He will lift us out of the difficult circumstances and lead us to a broader place, a place of freedom.

Just recently we had something small happen, but through which I believe God was encouraging us. For Christmas we were given some amaryllis bulbs. Both flowered beautifully, but one in particular flowered, then seemed to die back, then suddenly started growing again. At one point it had leaves, buds, flowers and fruit on it, all at the same time:

You can't see the leaves as they were shorter, but trust me they're there!

I hear you pondering why this might be significant, but there is an occasion in the Bible where this very thing happened to a dead stick, Aaron's staff, because God moved over it and put His life in the stick, to demonstrate something (see Numbers 17).

To have leaves, buds, flowers and fruit on something at the same time is unusual, especially when that very thing had appeared dead. It speaks of fruitfulness - miraculous fruitfulness. It speaks of nourishment, because the stick in Numbers 17 actually produced almonds, edible and a source of nutrients. It speaks of beauty, because God turned a dead thing into something beautiful (the blossoms). And it shows that when God is in authority over a situation, there is life (because Aaron's rod was demonstrating God's authority and His ability to bring forth life).

It also serves as a great reminder that Jesus came to bring life and fruit from a dead thing (us, who were spiritually dead and cut off from God before we accept Jesus' sacrifice in our place on the cross).

So how do I allow God to be in authority in these situations and in my life? I trust Him and I trust and believe His words and promises in the Bible (whilst rejecting the devil's lies and rubbish). And I hold onto hope. Hope in Him and hope for salvation in these 'dead' and seemingly hopeless areas.

My prayer is that "the God of hope will fill us with all joy and peace as we trust in Him, so that we may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15: 13, paraphrased) and the Bible promises us in return that hope will not and does not disappoint us (Romans 5: 5), instead it appoints us to promises fulfilled and new beginnings - to life where there once was death.

And in our prayers may we remember the ongoing difficult situation in the Ukraine and the Crimea, which seems poised on the brink of war, and for all those affected by the ongoing tragedy and heartbreak of missing Malaysian airlines flight.

As always, be blessed : )

All Hands on Deck!

As I mentioned in my last post, being unwell the past few weeks has inevitably sent me back to God. There is a great C. S. Lewis quote about this that I love:

But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. --C.S. Lewis

Whenever illness, or any other form of great difficulty arises, I am sent scurrying back to the Lord. I have to admit that I don't know everything, in fact I don't know much at all, and cry to Him for help.


And the Lord is helping me. I see my health gently improving, and although money pressures with some large bills to pay loom, I know His peace and assurance that all needs will be met. But also in these times spent with the Lord, He sometimes speaks to me about other things.

One thing that I have heard much spoken of, often just in passing comment, is how the 'young' people will lead the way and be at the forefront of whatever God is up to. Whenever I have heard this it has made me sad a little bit on the inside, because I no longer consider myself to be 'young', yet I long with all my being to be a part of whatever God is up to. I believe this may have been the Holy Spirit telling me that these comments are not true. So I spoke to God about it, and asked him if age discounts people, as these passing comments would suggest.

I felt the Lord say that although many consider us to be in the 'end times' (the days/ weeks/months/ years/ decades etc directly leading up to Jesus' second coming (the second coming is spoken of in Revelation 19, the language cam be a bit scary, just keep in mind He is a God of love : ))), before Jesus returns there will be a huge revival, the likes of which have never been seen before. Most previous revivals have been located in one or two spots geographically, with perhaps some spread to other nations, but the revival that is to come will eclipse all others. I see it like a huge wave that would break across the globe. And from this amazing move of God many people will meet God's love and accept Him into their lives, knowing healing and freedom as a result.

However I believe that God would say that this revival won't be run by 'young' people. Instead God is looking for whoever is open and available to Him. He does not regard the outer man, but instead looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16: 7), and if you love Him and are available to Him, you can be involved.

I feel that God would encourage all people, but especially the older generation. With Him there is no retirement, no pensioning off, but you are always useful, valid and important to Him. Younger people often have energy, enthusiasm and passion, but they need the wisdom, staying power, patience, temperance and steadfastness of the older generation. We all need each other, with our different gifts, to create the balance and roundedness that God desires to see. Just as it speaks in the Bible of the whole body working together - all parts are equally essential and vital. It also speaks about the generations working together in Malachi 4: 6.

Now obviously God's not giving any timetables here as to when this will happen, so it may well be that the young people of today are heavily involved, because by then they may be the older generation and I may be long gone! Or we may all have passed because it's so far away. Or it could start tomorrow, only God knows. But I really felt the Lord wanted to encourage older people that you are not redundant, that in fact the best may well be yet to come! The phrase that I felt repeated was that in this revival it will be 'All hands on Deck!'

God has also been speaking to me personally about situations in my life, but more of that later in the week. But I pray you will be encouraged to know that God has a place of importance for all of us, a place He has designed with just us in mind, and that all our lives have meaning. Be blessed : )

Cleaning Up

I apologise once again for such a long absence. It's not by design, more a case of life 'happening' and overriding my carefully laid plans!

When I last wrote I had been feeling unwell with a horrible virus that caused a great deal of pain and lethargy, as well as generally feeling quite unwell and therefore rather useless. I had however been feeling that I was coming out of it.

Generally I do think that's true - my body seemed to be recovering reasonably well. I seemed to improve most days, with a couple of exceptions, and that's awesome because it demonstrates how my immune system has progressed. However my recovery coincided with half-term and all the children being off school. In one way that was good because there was less running around to do and no school runs. In another way it was not quite so good because I had planned rather a lot of visitors, so as well as trying to get back on top of the washing (as spoken about and pictured in my post before last) and housework, we did rather a lot of entertaining.

As I have children at two different schools, my younger ones seldom have friends over for tea as our school runs simply can't accommodate extras. So half term was a good time for them to have some friends over and some decent play-time (during which I discovered 9 year old boys can actually shriek and scream higher pitched than my daughters and their friends). I had also encouraged my older two to invite some friends over during half term, because their school is quite a drive from our home, so socialising outside of school is rare and they spend large volumes of time in their bedrooms - sometimes getting them out to do anything is a struggle. My eldest daughter also had some friend issues that needed working through, so getting her to socialise and strengthen good friendships is very important at the moment and my eldest son also has mild autism/ Aspergers, so socialising is a good thing for him.

One evening we had 10 kids for tea, 8 overnight and for breakfast, and 6 for the following day. We also had other visitors for the whole day one Saturday. During my virus recovery I worked out we cooked/ provided 28 extra meals!

As for the washing so far I have produced:

Plus two more baskets of clean washing, one overflowing basket of clean socks and underwear and another two baskets of ironing, plus shirts and skirts. And two of the washing baskets are still fairly full!

Plus when we had visitors last Saturday for the day we did a big clean and tidy up all round the house, as my friend is one of many friends I seem to have accumulated that appear to have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) when it comes to cleaning  - their houses are immaculate! And I mean, spotless and not a thing out of place, even the books are in order. So my insecurities of 3 years of accumulated mess from being ill kinda caught up with me and I cleaned, in spite of not really feeling up to it.

Well, by Saturday evening when they left, I felt pretty dreadful - worse in fact than I have felt in a very long time. I had totally overdone it, but I can't help but wonder if my fear of what my friend thought of my house and my pride and lack of wisdom over-riding good sense and acknowledging I wasn't up to cleaning also allowed the devil a foothold to come in. Whatever it was I have had a tough week, been exhausted and been back on small doses of medication.

So I have spent some time with the Lord, seeking His wisdom on the matter. In that sense it has been a great week. I have felt Him talking to me a lot, some of which I shall share over the coming week. But I have also become aware that, as so often happens with me when unwell, I had sunk into 'stinking thinking' again. I had become very negative, a bit grumpy, lacking in patience and feeling that perhaps I would always be unwell. I had also started to slip into self-pity. And on all of that I felt God speak to me and lay His hand on it, encouraging me to 'get up off my mat' (see John 5: 8).

Anyone who has been unwell, especially for a long time, or suffered with any form of negativity, can testify that one of the hardest things to do is to pick yourself up, give yourself a good talking to and start actively believing positively once more. It is such a huge, almost tangible effort. Like fighting depression - it can seem impossible. But I quickly realised that if I was to succeed, self-pity was a luxury I could not afford.

So I have read God's word, I have started speaking it out loud (declaring it) once again, I have been praying and trying to kick the negative thoughts out, and I have been trying to think positive thoughts on purpose. And I can see small but tangible evidence that the tide is turning again for the better.

In Matthew Chapter 4 there are several parables that Jesus told about seed being sown and then growing. One interpretation is that this seed is God's Word (the Bible) being sown into the human heart, and then growing to produce faith. Once you have the faith, then you know the answer to your prayers is coming for sure (Hebrews 11: 1). I have actively been sowing those seeds about healing and health, as well as a great future. And I can see that they are growing.

I truly believe God has purchased my freedom in every way. And although this week has been very hard and challenging, especially in terms of health (and finance, as the exhaust on our big car went yesterday - another unexpected £175 to pay out next week!), I know that I'm on the winning team, my health is secured and my future is awesome. And trust me, it has taken a lot of fighting this week to get back to a point where I could say that again with any sincerity!

I hope to share more of what God's been saying later this week. But I hope that as I have been sharing my experiences of learning to clean up my thinking and my declarations (as well as my house!), God would encourage you that any situation in your life, no matter how seemingly impossible, can be cleared up too. Be blessed : )