Delayed Promises

Well I would have posted rather earlier this week than I have, if it were not for having a nasty virus for just over a week now.

Health wise I had been doing great, and as a result I had been very busy. Perhaps that is why. But I realise now that I cannot have an answer for everything and sometimes I just have to trust the Lord. This is one of those times. He hasn't yet told me why I have been unwell (and at times bed bound) this past week, but I know enough now to know I need to keep a positive attitude, not use it as an excuse to moan and snap at everyone, and to quietly endure whilst trusting Him. Not easy for me, but hey, I'm giving it a go! And I have been able to do some stuff this week (perhaps a little too much too quickly as I got a bit better then worse again), and I am able to be sat here at the PC now writing this at long last!

What I really wanted to share with you is something that is very close to my heart. It's about waiting, and being a late bloomer.

There is a scripture God has brought to mind this week:

Then the LORD answered me and said, "Record the vision And inscribe it on tablets, That the one who reads it may run. "For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay. Habakkuk 2: 2-3

Ever since I can remember God has given me certain promises over my life. I was not brought up in a Christian home, but at 15 he spoke to me in a dream very clearly about my life, and He has continued to so ever since. The promises are awesome, they are for me, my family and beyond. And trust me, I have done everything I could to bring them about myself. But God has always said no, not yet. The promises have literally 'tarried'.

tar·ry

¹ [tar-ee] verb (used without object), tar·ried, tar·ry·ing.

1.to remain or stay, as in a place; sojourn: He tarried in Baltimore on his way to Washington.

2.to delay or be tardy in acting, starting, coming, etc.; linger or loiter.

3.to wait.

4.Archaic. to wait for.

5.a stay; sojourn.

Origin:
1275–1325; Middle English taryen  to delay, tary  a delay

Now I could argue that they are delayed, or even overdue. But I know in my heart I'd be wrong. God's timing is perfect, and I can see now, with a little more age and wisdom, that if I had received the promises years ago, I would have squandered them and been spoilt by the blessings they brought with them, and in all likelihood become proud and turned my back on God.

Lucifer, the Devil, became proud and turned his back on God, and we all know how that one turned out. So in essence, in the waiting, God has refined me and, I hope, made me more capable of handling the blessings and the promises, when they come.

But several things have happened lately that have encouraged me.

First, I felt God release me to talk to my Pastor about training to preach. I was able to meet him this week and start that process. So God trusts me to not be quite so hidden as I have been, not such a wall flower.

Second, the Lord spoke to a friend at housegroup (a small group gathering of people from our church during the week). The Lord took him to Victoria Falls and showed him the rainbow in the waterfall. The Lord told him that He was not a promise breaker, but a keeper of promises. That He was faithful and He would not break his promises to us, He remembers them and will fulfil them. We can trust Him.

On the way to the meeting I had seen my first ever triple rainbow! Here is a photo of a beautiful double rainbow we had over our house last weekend:

This doesn't show the double, but is still beautiful and a reminder of God's promises

It's not that clear but look to the left of the main rainbow to see the double

 The third thing that happened was I found a load of spring bulbs in my garage that should have been planted in the Autumn but I wasn't well enough. So I planted them in the spring, when they should have been flowering. They lay dormant for over a month, and are well past their season now, but suddenly this last week this happened:

Late bloomers!

Daffodils in nearly June, in really hot weather - who ever heard of it?! But I guess the promise of life held within those seemingly dead bulbs over-rode the surety of death in the time of year and the conditions.

I feel God encourage us and say, even though things seem dormant and dreams seem dead, even though the promises seem to tarry, to delay and be well overdue, just hold on - for He is the great Promise Keeper, He is Faithful and we can trust Him. The promises will come to pass. We must simply have faith (trust Him) and patiently endure our current circumstances, and we will receive and inherit those promises He's made to us, both through His word and to us individually (Hebrews 6: 12).

It is hard. It is so hard. Laying in bed feeling pretty awful this week, seeing yet another week with little done, except get through it, pass by is excruciating. My youngest has her ice skating birthday party tomorrow morning. I feel weak and unwell physically and rather apprehensive about it. Yet I know I can choose to trust the Lord to be able to spend 90 minutes ice skating (I am rubbish at it!) and looking after 7 girls, and feel none the worse for it. That is a small promise, but I am trusting Him (and trying to exercise patience - not a strong point, but it has been decades!) that the larger ones will come to pass.

So for all the 'late bloomers' like me out there, and for anyone else reading this, be blessed : )

NB: A recommended watch on Youtube is Joyce Meyer: The Silent Years. It really helped and encouraged me : )
 

The God of Miracles Part 2

Last post I talked about how God challenged me on my view of miracles; He pointed out to me that just because something takes longer to happen does not mean that it isn't a miracle.

I can completely concur with this. When I consider how I was health-wise just under three years ago, I realise that back then I was often so unwell I could do nothing. And I mean nothing. I would be laid up in bed (or on a good day on the sofa) for days, sometimes weeks at a time. I suffered constant nausea, stomach problems, temperatures and limiting heart problems, amongst other symptoms.

Getting better has been a very difficult, very arduous path and at times I have felt abandonment (by God - imagined, obviously, but it felt very real at the time as at some of the lowest points heaven seemed silent). But to see where I am now, probably about 90 - 95% better, I have to state that it is a miracle. It is a miracle that has taken a long time, but it is still a miracle none-the-less.

It encouraged me greatly this week to pick up a book and find in the introduction by Bill Johnson, Senior Leader of Bethel Church, Redding, California:

"Miracles are an extremely important part of the gospel and are, therefore, to be a vital part of the life of a believer. However, the miracle spoken of in this book is rarely taught, and even more rarely understood. It is a miracle that came from process. If we are honest, most of us would admit that our favourite miracle is the instant miracle. That's where the tumour dissolves before our eyes, or the deaf ears are instantly opened, or the miracle of provision comes almost like manna on the ground... Yet miracles of process are still supernatural gifts of God."

My heart leapt to see essentially the same conversation I'd had with God a few weeks ago written by one so esteemed as Bill Johnson; to know that others concur.

The book to which he refers is 'Visions from Heaven' by Wendy Alec. She is the lady who started God TV with her husband Rory. She wrote it after becoming suddenly and profoundly ill three or so years ago, and taking until now to get 90% better. She too, as I, has been experiencing a miracle over some length of time.

I've not read it all, but so far it has touched my heart deeply. One thing she speaks about, having been a student of the Bible and reading people like Kenneth Hagin, as have I, is the sense of bewilderment that sets it when you have such terrible and testing times. For us, before the great test of dreadful illness, we had the great test of financial hardship, something which we are still sorting to this day.

As a child of God, when calamity comes and you run to Him, and then nothing seems to happen, you can experience abandonment and trauma. You wonder, 'What have I done to deserve this?'. You think, 'If only I had a little bit more faith I would be well'. You ask, 'Lord what sin is there in my life that has allowed this in?' or 'Where is God's hedge of protection?'

Wendy Alec speaks of visiting with God whilst moving through the healing process and God giving her some much needed answers, and for me, to even know that just perhaps the Lord allowed this in my life because of same greater blessing or calling, to know that it wasn't my fault, my lack of faith or my sin necessarily, has been intensely healing.

One thing she speaks of is that it takes times of resting and 'playing' to heal from the trauma of it all, essentially to wash the dust off our feet from the wilderness. It is the end of a long Bank Holiday weekend for us here in the UK, and I feel very tired. Probably because of my shame based past I still often feel the need to work harder/ do better and after three years of not being able to keep on top of anything or make any progress in the house, our home and garden need more work than ever, as well as all the pressing demands on my time. So these past few days I have worked, possibly a bit too hard. It is still an area that I must allow the Lord to move, so that I can be brought to a point where I do 'just enough' work and have time left over to play and rest properly.

But as I was writing this a wonderful thing happened. It was my nephew's (my husband's brother's son) 21st birthday yesterday. My husband's brother and wife do not like us and will not speak to us (a long story). We have tried everything to bring restoration, but they have such intense feelings against us that it is extraordinary. The relationship broke down some 13 years ago or so, but perhaps the most awful part for me was having a wonderful relationship with niece and nephew cut off completely. It broke my heart.

In spite of the fact that we were cut off, we made the decision to still send the children cards and gifts on birthdays and Christmas, and to message them from time to time, to let them know we care. So we sent a present round for nephew's 21st. I haven't seen him to properly speak to in years, but he came round just now for a cup of tea, to say thank you.

It may be a small step, but to sit and have a normal chat with him, after so much pain and loss in that relationship was truly a miracle. The Bible says in Proverbs 18: 16:

"Giving a gift can open doors; it gives access to important people!" New Living Translation.

My nephew is a very important person to me, and without the gift he would not have needed to say thank you, so he would not have come round. Praise God for small miracles in the right direction. His visit brought tears to my eyes and restored some hope to my heart for relationship restoration. Another miracle of process, but no less a miracle. 

I will keep praying for miracles and breakthrough, whether quick or slow, for myself and for all who come to read this. May you be truly blessed this week : )