The week started well. I had felt a great deal of energy and been able to accomplish much. With my overall health being so vastly improved I had been able to say that I was doing more than I was able to accomplish before I was unwell, and was doing all I hoped to do in terms of work, children and life. It was only regularly doing the morning school run that seemed to elude me.
So, as this last fact upset my youngest son from time to time (he is on the Autism/ Aspergers spectrum and therefore very sensitive and liable to upset sometimes) I decided to push myself further than usual and do the morning school run too this week. Us (myself and my husband) and our two youngest children had been working on projects about the rainforest and the school was having a display on first thing in the morning, so it was a good excuse to push myself to go.
However I'd had a very busy week, I'd been working hard at home, I'd been dog walking, I'd had school meetings, I was tired and I was due my period (which often makes me quite unwell - hormonal issues), so it may not have been the best of times to decide to push myself forward. But I did it, I got up, I looked round the displays and the children were really pleased (as was I). I even had a very productive day and then hosted a prayer meeting that evening and did some serious praying for friends.
I was very happy with what had been achieved, but the tiredness grew. Then the hormonal issues kicked in, but I still had things to do so I gently pushed myself a little further and went out to the shops Thursday. By Thursday evening I was sat rather comatose on the sofa. Friday I felt very flu-like, everything hurt, I had terrible stomach pains and was quite unwell. And it continues now, Sunday afternoon (although improving: 2 days ago I could not have sat here typing). I have done very little of use to man or beast since Thursday evening.
I don't know what the problem has been, whether over-tiredness and old illness problems resurfacing as I have overdone it, hormonal issues, low Vitamin D or a virus, or perhaps even something else. But the important thing I have noticed is that my mental attitude is so vastly different. In spite of being quite unwell (and yes, in typical fashion possibly a bit grumpy about it) I have felt peaceful. I have realised it is not a lasting situation and I have been able to trust God.
That does not mean that I have understanding of why I have been so unwell or that I am in any way accepting of the situation - not at all. But I can hand in to God, know that His Word promises full health and trust Him to bring that about. As I read/ heard somewhere this week, something of Joyce Meyer's I think, I am learning to: Live by God's Promises, Not His Explanations.
This week may have had some downs in terms of health and feeling grottier than I have in quite a while, but there have also been some great highs:
- The ill health helped me to see how much my mental attitude has improved, and if you are strong mentally you can get so much further no matter what the situation.
- The dreadful pattern of storm after storm that the UK has been experiencing was down to the position of the jet stream right over the UK, not where it is supposed to sit at all. Since understanding that I have been praying for it to move to where it should be and praise God the last dreadful storm we had Friday-Saturday appears to be the last in a long line and according to the weather experts things look set to improve (just as well, everything that wasn't strapped down Friday night was flying about the garden, breaking).
- Another health issue, which I shall explain more fully in a while, is showing great signs of progress after prayer and God's guidance. A real answer to prayer and blessing
- After prayer, because money and health pressures, as well as other ongoing issues, do persist, I felt God speak to me and encourage me. I felt Him say that all I've experienced is to prepare me for what is ahead - the wonderful future He has in store for me - that I might be able to withstand opposition and pressures and trust Him. It encourages me no end, that His word is true, that indeed all things do work together for my good, because I love Him (Romans 8: 28) and that whatever the devil throws at me meant for my harm will be turned into something that benefits me and brings me and others great good (Genesis 50: 20).
And after getting to such a good point overall in my health, I do feel God encouraging me to move on with Him. To get the things out of my life that perhaps prevent me growing in Him and moving forward: Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God. (2 Corinthians 7: 1). That's not fear, as in being afraid of God - it means a holy reverance. And that is not to suggest I can make myself holy or cleanse myself in any way through self effort, no. It is simply to say that as one of God's children it is perhaps time for me to take on a little more responsibility, because I love Him.
One example is eating less refined sugar and fat. I am blessed with a great metabolism, but since having four children and getting older I have gradually put on more and more weight. The biggest problem is rewarding myself with food after a busy day, when I sit down for a little while before bed. I just love to fill myself with crisps, sweets and chocolate of an evening, because I feel I deserve it. And that's not a great place to be. I have felt the Holy Spirit nudging me for ages about eating less sugar and how that would help with weight loss, hormonal issues and the sugar cravings I get, but so far whenever I've tried I've quickly given up. But now I feel God saying that of course He will still support my health and body, but I need to step up and do my part. So for myself, and for Him, I am going to try to cut down.
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| A little treat for the evening ... |
So there's been ups and downs. There's been grotty health again. And there are not insignificant challenges. But am I beat? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. (Romans 8: 37).
May you have a blessed week and know that if we stick it out, overwhelming victory is ours in the end : )
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