There has been much going on these past months. I have had some difficult issues to deal with. Life has been ridiculously busy. And health has been, let's just say, 'challenging'.
I shall tackle these issues in three posts, hopefully fairly close together. But I shall start with health.
If you've read my blog before you'll know I have had some difficult health problems for nearly four years now. Looking back I can see I am significantly better than I was, and can cope with so much more. However I am still very far from what I would consider 'well' or 'normal'.
A friend recently encouraged me from his own experiences. He'd had a back problem with lots of pain troubling him, yet he needed to be well for work. He saw Andrew Wommack on TV, preaching on Mark 11: 23:
"Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them."
| Be gone, mountain! |
He said he'd repented of losing hope in certain areas and not believing this scripture and started to claim promises from the Bible out loud - promises of healing and well being. He said it took about 5 days of constant praying and telling the pain to go, and then it lifted!
This is the fulfilment of Mark 4: 26 - 29:
The Parable of the Growing Seed
26He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground.
27Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how.
28All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head.
29As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.”
We sow God's word in the form of speaking His promises, faith grows (often without us knowing), then suddenly faith arises and we know we have what we asked for (Hebrews 11:1) and then the actual thing itself arrives.
I was so encouraged, as I had been stuck in the doldrums, having really lost faith in being fully well. I realised that I had been through such a prolonged rough spell, and been unwell for so long, that I'd lost hope. My friend's testimony gave me back enough hope to try again.
So I spoke the promises, faith arose and I started to feel really well at times. Just momentary glimpses, but better than I'd felt for a really long while. Then the devil does what he does best and had a go. First life crashed in. Appointments with the kids came up in a flurry: dentist, orthodontist, opticians, school meetings etc. Simultaneously work increased a lot. And it is hard, physical work that really tests your muscles and stamina.
I did really well for a bit, better than I'd ever have coped over these past years and was amazed. But it's like I hit a wall and suddenly my body crashed.
Then the Dr called and hit me with a big blow. I've been waiting to see a specialist about my condition, but before they see me they want to perform tests. In order to do the test they've asked me to come off medication that really helps sustain me, for two weeks prior to testing and for a week during.
Normally this might be feasible, with a lot of Divine help, but after hitting a brick wall and feeling really dreadful (yet still having to look after the family and work), it's almost impossible.
I tried to honour the request and came off the meds for a week. I had no sleep for two nights and had to miss work, all due to dreadful symptoms and illness, which could have been managed by the meds.
So I'm between a rock and a hard place now. If I take the meds, I function but cannot get to the bottom of what's wrong. If I don't take the meds, I lose a huge amount of income (as if I don't work I don't get paid - the joy of self-employment), upset customers and can't function.
So I'm back to square one now. Back to trying to drag up hope once more, and pray that in time that will develop into faith. Back to dealing with impossible situations, when all I want to do is sit on the sofa and eat chocolate or lie in bed and wait to feel better. But I understand that 'impossible' God speciality.
So forgive my absence. I simply haven't been able to write as I've felt so rubbish. Here's to a better month ahead - watch this space!
I pray you will be blessed, and you too will see your mountains moved : )
